via Daily Prompt: Foggy
We’ve all experienced brain fog.
Normal brain fog is usually the inability to think clearly, make sense of a situation or use any problem solving skills. It’s a frustrating feeling, but there is a worse kind.
Emotional brain fog.
This occurs when you are so overwhelmed you can’t think rationally anymore.
I feel like that recently. There has just been too much, and I have reached my capacity. My brain cascades into numbness, I can feel it falling, shutters closing around me and then there is nothing. No errant thoughts and ponderings wandering across my mind, just the screams of the overwhelmed, the whimpers of the tired. I have very little fight left in me. I don’t know how to recuperate anymore. The words start but trail off a few sentences in.
Even writing this is taking longer than usual.
I need a break from everything, but in this modern life when do we get to take a break? I have to be at work at 9am tomorrow. How much of a break can you get in an evening where you have so many things to do, that can’t wait.
If anyone knows the answer, please give me a hint…
via Daily Prompt: Create
To create is to live. I believe that every single one of us on the planet has the ability to create and be creative, and I believe that through a creative process, we come alive.
As a child many of us are constantly creating, making a mud hill, painting a picture, creating a make believe world, a story, lego structures, forts, etc. I believe that through this creative process we learn. It is a way of interacting with the world, of pushing boundaries and limits and learning about yourself.
The simple joy of creating a mud hill, playing in water or drawing for the sake of drawing seems to disappear when we are adults, and yet I believe that this process something so naturally human. It is a basic creative mode, where there is no goal, no outcome to be monitored or assessed, just fun to be had in being creative.
This is something I vow to do more of, to reconnect with that creative inner child, who has no critical demons demolishing the thing that she creates with self doubt and ideas of failure. To just create for the sake of creating and just to be in the moment with that process.
I trace things with my thumb. My own imaginary lines, following what my eyes see. Have done for as long as I can remember.
Subtitles, facial features, road signs, punctuation, clothing hems, angular shapes.
Imagine how beautiful it is..
when I get to trace your face.
Your eyes are mesmerizing, full of mischief and joy, each crinkle, lined with my thumb as you laugh at me..
Your lips, so full and tempting, line by line dancing around the ball of my thumb. If only I could reach out and trace them for real..
I know your face by heart, I could draw you a thousand times, every expression, every minute detail, I can close my eyes and there you are…line by line dancing around my thumb..
Some people leave an impression. Like an indent in your brain or your soul.
Sometimes it’s bad and it hurts and that scarred piece of you will never be the same, always bearing the imprint of the impression left behind. But let’s not talk about negatives.
Let’s talk about the people who’s impression makes you better. I only have a very small handful of these, but they are like a magic tonic for the soul.
Just thinking about the way someone looks when they smile can make my chest swell and my face wear my own unbreakable smile. A throwaway comment or funny quip, otherwise meaningless, can sum up someone’s personality and every reason why you love them, and it fills a tiny part of you. I get a text and my face splits in two because the person I am talking to is so beautifully them, mischievous and playful, and witty and them and I love them for every reason and no reason. These people have left their impression on my soul, people who I will always and forever have alongside me, in my heart and in my brain. Something about them has made me better, made me more whole, and I can only hope I have done the same for them.
Each of these people, and each moment makes me. Instead of the imprint taking away, it shapes, molds, and fills me up with the things that I think really define and create my life. Not the long list of achievements, or the long list of things I haven’t got round to achieving, but the long list of times I have felt that imprint tingle within me, and smiled because one of my favourite humans is there.